Five Guys - fast food without the stigma

So in celebration of the last day of work and school before Christmas, we decided to have a nice meal out. By nice meal out, I mean going out to eat somewhere our kids can be just as loud as the other kids and no one will notice. C-Monster and J-train were begging me to take them out for cheeseburgers, and requested a family trip to Five Guys. This restaurant is another place that we frequent, so I already know the quality of these burgers. Full disclosure there. Five Guys is a fun restaurant that borders on fast food. The reason I say that is because the food is not terribly fast, but fast enough that you could bounce over there for lunch and not miss too much work. If you care about that sort of thing. Their menu is pretty basic - burgers, hot dogs and a few sandwich choices. Burgers come in two varieties; the little cheeseburger which about the size of a normal burger, and the cheeseburger which is too large for any normal human who cares about being healthy. Basically you just go up there, say what size burger you want and then start rattling off the toppings you want from their list. I am pretty sure you could get them to put almost anything on there with how many options they have. "Yes, I'd like the cheeseburger with mustard, catchup, lettuce and a couple of hair nets. My wife would like the same but can you find some old toothbrushes to drop on there? Thanks." They'd probably do it, or at least not be surprised at the notion.  Their hot dogs are good quality beef hot dogs, which I have only ever seen one person order in as many times as I have been to Five Guys. That person was C-Monster and he hated it because it was real beef and not made from chicken hooves. I did eat it that time, and it was delicious. The sandwiches they offer are just burgers without the meat. Grilled cheese, BLT, and a veggie sandwich which is really just a fully loaded burger without the meat.

Last night though, we got there right before the rush hit. We managed to get to the front of the line quickly, but shortly after a big line formed and I think it overwhelmed the staff there. It did take a while for us to get our burgers, but there were people waiting a lot longer than us. This is not normal, but it must happen from time to time. The C-monster, J-train and the beautiful and lovely K all ordered little bacon cheeseburgers with their selected appurtenances, and I of course got the bacon cheeseburger with a full load of condiments and vegetables on there. We also ordered a large fry, which is plenty for a family of four. I once made an attempt to eat an entire large fry from Five Guys, it ended in heartbreak and stomachache. Don't do it. They pretty much just take a large drink cup full of fries and drop it in your bag, and then just throw a whole bunch more in there. It's like they do fries by weight rather than size.

We happily sat eating the peanuts that they have for you while you wait, which did take a while but not terribly long. Once our order came we realized that we somehow had ordered an extra hamburger. We knew right away that this was an error because no one in this family would have one without cheese, but the people at Five Guys were very nice and gave us our money back and let us keep the burger. The J-train also had a little mix-up on his burger and they missed the bacon. With the massive amount of customers they had in there, I am surprised it wasn't messed up more. My burger was, as expected, quite delicious. Now, Five Guys cooks all of their burgers "juicy and well done" so I didn't get to try my normal "medium" cooking on them. They were definitely cooked through and still juicy though. The patties were very well made and juicy, the bread was moist and tasty, and all of the veggies and condiments were just right. My only real complaint was that it was not quite as good as it is normally. The cheese itself was a little cold and not very melted, which made the entire burger a little less warm that usual. This is no doubt because of the influx of customers right around the time we ordered. I still prefer my cheese much more melty. K also reinforced this statement. The boys both devoured their burgers and C-monster requested a second burger. These guys are getting big, that statement struck fear in our hearts and our wallets. We told him he could eat a banana when he got home. He declined. Crisis averted. Our dog did quite enjoy the hamburger later as well, but I did not get a good statement from her. Because she's a dog.

So where does this burger rank on the scale? This burger is more of a lunch burger than a dinner burger, I would say. It is a basic burger, nothing really special, churned out as fast as they can. Five Guys is definitely not a place you would bring a date. If you are taking a girl out for a first or even second date, you definitely don't want to have her feeling stuffed and having to dry clean her dress to get the grease smell out. There would be no third date. If you are past the point of trying to impress each other though, head on over. But how does this rate as a tasty lunch burger? I give it a 2-1/2 Angus Barn burger rating. Solid quality lunch burger, but not the quality of a dinner burger that would get it into the 3+ range. Don't change anything Five Guys, but maybe melt my cheese a little next time.






Five Guys Burgers & Fries
8107 Creedmoor Rd
Raleigh, NC 27613
(many other locations as well)
www.fiveguys.com